Question:
Why do mothers after bearing children tend to bond to boys rather than girls as babies and as children despite the fact that feminist perspectives in educational and developmental psychology emphasize that female children should be valued and cherished equally? Is this a chemistry factor or based on practical social expectations such as the extra work needed to prepare girls to appear beautiful and marriageable to an acceptable social class?
I am asking in broad terms rather than local terms because even in the USA moms tend to value boys or seem attracted to boys. Why do even the most feminist of us tend to favor boys after we actually bear the children despite the feminist educational and developmental psychology principles which govern to the contrary?
Answer:
Greetings from ipl2,
I understand you’re looking for information regarding whether mothers bond more with boys rather than girls.
Research suggests that, rather than there being a universal pattern of bonding (i.e. mothers preferring sons), several factors influence relationships between mothers and sons and mothers and daughters. Cultural differences, socio-economic factors, emotional availability of parents, and higher/lower gender expectations can affect whether a mother will bond to a daughter or son differently. I have included free resources as well as scholarly articles you may find useful.
Free:
1 - All Africa - Nigeria: Do Children Feel Equal Bond to Both Parents?
http://allafrica.com/stories/201304050679.html
AllAfrica aggregates and indexes content from over 130 African news organizations, plus more than 200 other sources, who are responsible for their own reporting and views. Articles and commentaries that identify allAfrica.com as the publisher are produced or commissioned by AllAfrica.
2 - The Guardian - “Are Mothers Harder on Their Daughters - and if so, Why?”
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/06/mothers-harder-on-daughters-why
The Guardian is a British daily newspaper that has received numerous accolades and British Press awards.
3 - ParenThots - Why are mother-daughter and father-son relationship important?
http://parenthots.com/features/focus_on_the_family/Why-are-mother-daughter-and-father-son.aspx
ParenThots is part of The Star newspaper devoted to parenting issues. The article was written by Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organization that provides information to families in the United States. While the organization leans towards religious views on family matters, the information here is in line with other sources. Their website can be found at:
www.family.org.my
4 - iVillage - “Do children bond more with opposite-sex parent?”
http://www.ivillage.com/do-children-bond-more-opposite-sex-parent/6-n-138136
iVillage is part of NBC Universal Women & Lifestyle Entertainment Networks Group. It hosts articles mainly pertaining to women. This article was written by Dr. Gayle Peterson, a family therapist specializing in prenatal and family development.
Subscription:
4 - PubMed
Butler, R., Shalit-Naggar, R. (2008). Gender and patterns of concerned responsiveness in representations of the mother-daughter and mother-son relationship. Child development, 79(4), p. 836-851. DOI: 10.1111/j.1467-8624.2008.01162.x
Abstract
Given that girls show more interpersonal concern than boys, it was predicted that more mother-daughter than mother-son dyads would develop a relationship of mutual concerned responsiveness (CR). Two hundred and twenty-six Israeli children (7-8 years old) and 91 mother-child pairs provided narratives of mother-child interactions. At high levels of socioeconomic status (SES), descriptions of child but not maternal concern differed by gender; therefore, more mother-daughter narratives described mutual CR and more mother-son narratives described a nonreciprocal pattern of maternal CR. In a low-SES sample, most mother-daughter narratives described mutual CR, but many mothers and sons described little concern by either partner. Results provided clear evidence of gender differences in mother-child reciprocity and confirmed the importance of examining gender influences in different social groups.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18717893
This article is not available for free online. Unfortunately, Springfield Township Library and Delaware County Library System do not subscribe to PubMed. However, the article is available at Penn State Abington Library. You can contact the library at (215) 881-7423.
PubMed is a database of scholarly medical journals created by the National Institute of Health/National Library of Medicine used by doctors and researchers. Some of the articles are also available to the public for free. This particular article is only available via subscription.
Licensed Electronic Resource Disclaimer:
This is a licensed electronic resource that we are recommending to you. You will not be able to access it or get a copy of it without a paid subscription.
We encourage you to take the information we have provided to your local library, which may have a subscription and be able to provide this resource to you for free. Your library may also be able to obtain materials through interlibrary loan services or some other means, or they may be able to recommend a similar resource. We suggest asking a local librarian for assistance.
To find a library you can try the sites listed on the ipl2's Library Locator page:
http://ipl.org/div/liblocator/
5 - PubMed
Updegraff, K. A., Degado, M. Y., Wheeler, L. A. (2009). Exploring mothers’ and fathers’ relationships with sons versus daughters: Links to adolescent adjustment in Mexican immigrant familes. Sex Roles, 60(7-8), p. 559-574. DOI: 10.1007/s11199-008-9527-y
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2749271/
Abstract (Entire article is available at above link)
Drawing on ecological and gender socialization perspectives, this study examined mothers’ and fathers’ relationships with young adolescents, exploring differences between mothers and fathers, for sons versus daughters, and as a function of parents’ division of paid labor. Mexican immigrant families (N = 162) participated in home interviews and seven nightly phone calls. Findings revealed that mothers reported higher levels of acceptance toward adolescents and greater knowledge of adolescents’ daily activities than did fathers, and mothers spent more time with daughters than with sons. Linkages between parent-adolescent relationship qualities and youth adjustment were moderated by adolescent gender and parents’ division of paid labor. Findings revealed, for example, stronger associations between parent–adolescent relationship qualities and youth adjustment for girls than for boys.
PubMed is a database of scholarly medical journals created by the National Institute of Health/National Library of Medicine used by doctors and researchers. Many of the articles are also available to the public for free. This particular article is free of charge at the above link.
Licensed Electronic Resource Disclaimer:
This is a licensed electronic resource that we are recommending to you. You will not be able to access it or get a copy of it without a paid subscription.
We encourage you to take the information we have provided to your local library, which may have a subscription and be able to provide this resource to you for free. Your library may also be able to obtain materials through interlibrary loan services or some other means, or they may be able to recommend a similar resource. We suggest asking a local librarian for assistance.
To find a library you can try the sites listed on the ipl2's Library Locator page:
http://ipl.org/div/liblocator/
All articles were found using Google
www.google.com
Search terms were as follows:
Articles 1 & 2: ““do mothers bond with boys more than girls?”
Article 3: “mother-son vs mother-daughter bond”
Article 4: “parental bonding with children of same gender vs different gender”
Article 5: “maternal gender bonding patterns”
Article 6: “mother child bond son vs daughter bond"
Thank you for visiting ipl2. I hope this has answered your question but if it hasn’t, please return to the site for additional assistance.
Why do mothers after bearing children tend to bond to boys rather than girls as babies and as children despite the fact that feminist perspectives in educational and developmental psychology emphasize that female children should be valued and cherished equally? Is this a chemistry factor or based on practical social expectations such as the extra work needed to prepare girls to appear beautiful and marriageable to an acceptable social class?
I am asking in broad terms rather than local terms because even in the USA moms tend to value boys or seem attracted to boys. Why do even the most feminist of us tend to favor boys after we actually bear the children despite the feminist educational and developmental psychology principles which govern to the contrary?
Answer:
Greetings from ipl2,
I understand you’re looking for information regarding whether mothers bond more with boys rather than girls.
Research suggests that, rather than there being a universal pattern of bonding (i.e. mothers preferring sons), several factors influence relationships between mothers and sons and mothers and daughters. Cultural differences, socio-economic factors, emotional availability of parents, and higher/lower gender expectations can affect whether a mother will bond to a daughter or son differently. I have included free resources as well as scholarly articles you may find useful.
Free:
1 - All Africa - Nigeria: Do Children Feel Equal Bond to Both Parents?
http://allafrica.com/stories/201304050679.html
AllAfrica aggregates and indexes content from over 130 African news organizations, plus more than 200 other sources, who are responsible for their own reporting and views. Articles and commentaries that identify allAfrica.com as the publisher are produced or commissioned by AllAfrica.
2 - The Guardian - “Are Mothers Harder on Their Daughters - and if so, Why?”
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/06/mothers-harder-on-daughters-why
The Guardian is a British daily newspaper that has received numerous accolades and British Press awards.
3 - ParenThots - Why are mother-daughter and father-son relationship important?
http://parenthots.com/features/focus_on_the_family/Why-are-mother-daughter-and-father-son.aspx
ParenThots is part of The Star newspaper devoted to parenting issues. The article was written by Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organization that provides information to families in the United States. While the organization leans towards religious views on family matters, the information here is in line with other sources. Their website can be found at:
www.family.org.my
4 - iVillage - “Do children bond more with opposite-sex parent?”
http://www.ivillage.com/do-children-bond-more-opposite-sex-parent/6-n-138136
iVillage is part of NBC Universal Women & Lifestyle Entertainment Networks Group. It hosts articles mainly pertaining to women. This article was written by Dr. Gayle Peterson, a family therapist specializing in prenatal and family development.
Subscription:
4 - PubMed
Butler, R., Shalit-Naggar, R. (2008). Gender and patterns of concerned responsiveness in representations of the mother-daughter and mother-son relationship. Child development, 79(4), p. 836-851. DOI: 10.1111/j.1467-8624.2008.01162.x
Abstract
Given that girls show more interpersonal concern than boys, it was predicted that more mother-daughter than mother-son dyads would develop a relationship of mutual concerned responsiveness (CR). Two hundred and twenty-six Israeli children (7-8 years old) and 91 mother-child pairs provided narratives of mother-child interactions. At high levels of socioeconomic status (SES), descriptions of child but not maternal concern differed by gender; therefore, more mother-daughter narratives described mutual CR and more mother-son narratives described a nonreciprocal pattern of maternal CR. In a low-SES sample, most mother-daughter narratives described mutual CR, but many mothers and sons described little concern by either partner. Results provided clear evidence of gender differences in mother-child reciprocity and confirmed the importance of examining gender influences in different social groups.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18717893
This article is not available for free online. Unfortunately, Springfield Township Library and Delaware County Library System do not subscribe to PubMed. However, the article is available at Penn State Abington Library. You can contact the library at (215) 881-7423.
PubMed is a database of scholarly medical journals created by the National Institute of Health/National Library of Medicine used by doctors and researchers. Some of the articles are also available to the public for free. This particular article is only available via subscription.
Licensed Electronic Resource Disclaimer:
This is a licensed electronic resource that we are recommending to you. You will not be able to access it or get a copy of it without a paid subscription.
We encourage you to take the information we have provided to your local library, which may have a subscription and be able to provide this resource to you for free. Your library may also be able to obtain materials through interlibrary loan services or some other means, or they may be able to recommend a similar resource. We suggest asking a local librarian for assistance.
To find a library you can try the sites listed on the ipl2's Library Locator page:
http://ipl.org/div/liblocator/
5 - PubMed
Updegraff, K. A., Degado, M. Y., Wheeler, L. A. (2009). Exploring mothers’ and fathers’ relationships with sons versus daughters: Links to adolescent adjustment in Mexican immigrant familes. Sex Roles, 60(7-8), p. 559-574. DOI: 10.1007/s11199-008-9527-y
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2749271/
Abstract (Entire article is available at above link)
Drawing on ecological and gender socialization perspectives, this study examined mothers’ and fathers’ relationships with young adolescents, exploring differences between mothers and fathers, for sons versus daughters, and as a function of parents’ division of paid labor. Mexican immigrant families (N = 162) participated in home interviews and seven nightly phone calls. Findings revealed that mothers reported higher levels of acceptance toward adolescents and greater knowledge of adolescents’ daily activities than did fathers, and mothers spent more time with daughters than with sons. Linkages between parent-adolescent relationship qualities and youth adjustment were moderated by adolescent gender and parents’ division of paid labor. Findings revealed, for example, stronger associations between parent–adolescent relationship qualities and youth adjustment for girls than for boys.
PubMed is a database of scholarly medical journals created by the National Institute of Health/National Library of Medicine used by doctors and researchers. Many of the articles are also available to the public for free. This particular article is free of charge at the above link.
Licensed Electronic Resource Disclaimer:
This is a licensed electronic resource that we are recommending to you. You will not be able to access it or get a copy of it without a paid subscription.
We encourage you to take the information we have provided to your local library, which may have a subscription and be able to provide this resource to you for free. Your library may also be able to obtain materials through interlibrary loan services or some other means, or they may be able to recommend a similar resource. We suggest asking a local librarian for assistance.
To find a library you can try the sites listed on the ipl2's Library Locator page:
http://ipl.org/div/liblocator/
All articles were found using Google
www.google.com
Search terms were as follows:
Articles 1 & 2: ““do mothers bond with boys more than girls?”
Article 3: “mother-son vs mother-daughter bond”
Article 4: “parental bonding with children of same gender vs different gender”
Article 5: “maternal gender bonding patterns”
Article 6: “mother child bond son vs daughter bond"
Thank you for visiting ipl2. I hope this has answered your question but if it hasn’t, please return to the site for additional assistance.
